Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Some Days

Some days I'm pretty awesome.

Some days I get four loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away.  I do this while bathing, dressing and feeding my kids healthy meals I prepared myself.  On these days the floor gets swept and the living room gets picked up and the dishes in the dishwasher get unloaded/loaded.

Some days I make sure my husband has food to take to work and clean clothes to wear.  Some days I call him to see how his day is going.  Some days we are a happy Mom/kids trio when he comes home from work.

Some days I don't do jack.

Some days I binge read my favorite blogs all day or catch up on my youtube subscriptions.  Some days I take a nap when the one year old is sleeping instead of being productive.  Some days I feed my kids pizza hut while they have Disney Jr marathons.  Some days I don't shower, bathe the kids or get any of us dressed.

Some days my husband comes home to a mess and tears and frustration.  Some days I don't give him the attention he deserves.

So, I'm like everyone else right?  We all have our good days and bad days.  To be honest I have a hard time picturing some of my friends/acquaintances having bad days.  You know the kind I'm talking about.  The Mom's who always have their hair curled, whose kids are always dressed well with clean faces.  The Mom's who keep their houses clean at all times.

I wish.  I was going to be that kind of Mom, before I had kids.  
hahahahahahahahahahhahaha.  right.

Here is where I need to change:

On my awesome days I don't give myself any credit.  In fact I usually end up apologizing to my kids and/or husband for not getting that one last thing done.  I go to bed annoyed with myself for some reason or other.  I'm never happy with the work I've done that day.

On my crap days I beat myself up good.  I am sure to remind myself that so and so is doing it all better than me.  I give myself grief for spending money on pizza.  If I dare look in a mirror as I pass it by I get on myself about how much weight I need to lose or how I should do my hair down more often or something else...always something.

I need to remember to be nicer to myself.  To let myself have a bad day every now and then, but not too often.  I need to be happy with myself when I work my butt off one day.  I need to accept my husbands compliments without rolling my eyes.

What do you do to treat yourself?

Monday, June 2, 2014

Preschool Graduation

Ava finished her first year of preschool.  I only cried for a second.  She's gotten so big and she's so smart.  She wants to know everything and is constantly asking me questions about why things are the way they are.
She met her friend Amelia in this class and the refer to each other as "twin sister".  I'm not sure where that came from but it's pretty cute.  The get along really well and they are fun to watch.

Only one more year of preschool and it's on to elementary!


She's getting too big, too fast. 
She's finally talking.  Eddie, Mama, Dada, Vava (Ava), Ball, More, No, Kitty, Please, Hi, Bye, Yes, Papa (grandma and grandpa), Potty, Bum and lots more.  She also loves to "sing" along with songs.  Her favorite is "Popcorn Popping".

She sleeps through the night about 4 nights a week now.  That took forever, and I'm ENJOYING it.  I'm a much happier Mama when I've gotten a solid 8 hours.  Thank you Sunny!

Still has lots and lots of nicknames.  Sunny, Sun Bun, Sunners, Sun-bun-a-reno, Sunabun, Bo Bo La Bo Bo, Sunny cakes and more.

She loves blankies, animal sounds, songs with actions involved, Eddie the schnauzer, the word "No", her sister, strawberries, rough housing with Dad, her bottle (I'm working on that one), her grandparents and Minnie Mouse.

She does not like bath time, bed time, the Dr, snuggling (unless it's her idea), swimming pools, being told "No" or sitting still for any amount of time. 

She keeps me on my toes.  She's determined and feisty and independent.  I just love her.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

On a brighter note;

It's almost mothers day.

I love my Mom.  Like, a lot.  I call that poor woman constantly and she never complains.

"Mom, this can of soup says it expired a few months ago, think I'm still OK to eat it?"

"Mom, I can't get this mirror clean with Windex, do you know anything that would work better?"

"Mom, I'm at Smith's and I can't figure out where the olives are."

Seriously, it's that bad.  Maybe worse some days.  In fact, the other night I was trying to get Sundae to bed and it wasn't going well.  She'd been crying for over two hours.  Ava was tired and upset, I was tired and upset, I tried everything.  I called my Mom and she and my Dad got in the car and came over and played with my girls and talked to me until we were all feeling much more sane.  She didn't complain about me interrupting her night, she let me vent and she didn't make me feel like a crap Mom.

She's exactly the Mom and I need and I can't imagine not having her.  Hopefully I don't drive her TOO crazy.

(The crazy neck is my photographers fault.  She kept telling me to move my head closer.  It was weird.  K.)

Sunday, May 4, 2014

A rambling, nonsense post about the monster that is cancer.

"And here it was, the great and terrible ten, slamming me again and again as I lay still and alone in my bed staring at the ceiling, the waves tossing me against the rocks then pulling me back out to sea so they could launch me again into the jagged face of the cliff, leaving me floating faceup on the water, undrowned."
-The Fault In Our Stars

The character Hazel on the grief of losing a loved one.

I've been thinking a lot about cancer lately.

The tenth anniversary of my Dad's death is in a couple of days.  I can't help but think back on my life ten years ago.  The sadness, the feeling of uncertainty that comes with the certainty of death, watching someone I loved die, watching people I loved dealing with the pain of someone they loved dying and mostly watching my Dad.

Cancer changes people.  Or the medicine does.  Or the pain.  I'm not sure, but I've watched it enough times to know that it changes them.  It also changes the people who don't have it.  Cancer is a heartless bitch.

 I fear cancer now.  I fear it for myself in the unknown of my aching joints and my scarred esophagus, though I'm always assured none of it has anything to do with cancer.  I always ask.  I fear it for my parents, who have both lost previous spouses from cancer.  I even hate the ugly word. Cancer.

To be quite honest I have moved on from losing my Dad.  Most people move on from losing someone they love.  It's a healthy thing to do.  Life continues and you start to forget, which I think is a good thing.  A favor our minds grant us.  Don't get me wrong, I miss him.  It's not fair.  But I'm ok, we all are.  But I will forever hate cancer.

*edit:  I almost didn't post this because it's so "negative" and it might "offend" people or people might not get it...but it's my blog, so whatever. 

Monday, April 28, 2014


April has been a busy month. We were able to go to New Mexico for Davins grandpas funeral. The 8 hour drive with sundae in the back was rough.  She's always hard to keep happy, but it was harder when she was strapped in a car seat.  Ava, on the other hand, was an angel the whole way there, the whole time we were there and the entire drive back.  
Hole In The Rock.  Moab, UT

Moab, UT

Moab, UT
I love those gorgeous red cliffs.
Make-up free selfie.  That will never happen again...

The Easter Bunny brought the girls some outdoor chairs and princesses this year.  I tried to keep candy out of the house, for my own sake.  It didn't work, there were two Easter egg hunts and my house is covered in candy.  

Sundae fell about six thousand times this month. She can't seem to hold still and she has to explore EVERYTHING.  She likes to kiss her healing boo boos better.  It's pretty cute.

We had an Easter egg hunt with the next door neighbor.  The got spoiled!  We had a lot of fun.

Ava had her first ever dentist appointment this month.  She did so, so well!  She even talked to him, which is a big deal because she is so shy.  I can never get her to talk to anyone.

Dad had a rare day off earlier this month so we headed downtown and explored.  The girls had a blast running around.

This little girl turned four this month.  I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.  I swear we just brought her home as a squeaky newborn!  She's the best big sister ever and is always telling us "I just want to be good!" when she gets in trouble.  She's got a very tender heart.  She loves school and her friends and cousins.  We just love her!

Monday, March 31, 2014

Pasta Carbonara

This has become one of our favorite recipes.  Both of my kids will eat it, it's simple enough that I really don't mind making it and my husband eats until there is nothing left in the pot.  I consider that a win!

Pasta Carbonara

4 Eggs
1/2 Cup heavy whipping cream
2/3 Cup parm
Dried parsley flakes
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1/2 lb bacon fried and crumbled*
1/2 lb pasta
Cooked peas - to taste

*On super lazy days (which are most days) I use pre cooked bacon, microwave it and rip it up

Boil water and cook pasta according to directions.  Drain
While pasta is cooking add first six ingredients in a bowl and beat until smooth. 
Prepare bacon and peas and set aside.
While the pasta is still warm pour mixture over the top of it.  Add bacon and peas,stir over low heat until heated through.

That's it.  Enjoy!